1 Week Post D&C

So it’s been a week since that horrid day. At this point the struggle’s been much more mental than physical. Since surgery, I haven’t had much pain. In fact the doctor gave me two prescriptions for pain and I didn’t fill either of them. I’ve been taking it easy and trying to sleep however my mind races and I think I picked up a chest cold at the hospital.

The bleeding has been minimal. It was nearly gone by Sunday evening.

Wednesday I met with the doctor again. He took some blood to measure the HCG levels…we will continue to monitor them until they reach zero. I hope it goes quickly so that I can feel normal again. Being in that office again was no fun. Surrounded by happy pregnant women, just makes me feel sorry for myself.

I’m trying to get back into my normal exercise routine. After the appointment on Wednesday, he gave me the go ahead to start working out again.

I’ve avoided therapy…..I know I should go and talk about things, but I’m just not ready. For me, right now, avoidance seems like the best strategy.

I already started researching adoption. Some people might think it’s too soon, but with my personality it’s a coping mechanism. A way to make a plan to move forward. I’m not saying we’re going to make any decisions anytime soon. But I just wanted to educate myself. We will also schedule a follow up meeting with the IVF doctor, Dr. Hernandez-Rey. Just want to hear what he has to say, and what he thinks the issue is. I’d also like to speak to him about an egg donor and the odds of success. We probably won’t meet with him for a few more months. Just want to get my head on straight.

In terms of friends who have been there for me, I can’t say that anyone has been. I get it, we all have our busy lives that get in the way. And perhaps no one really knows how much I’m struggling. I’m pretty good at putting up a good front of being strong. It would be nice if my two best friends would at least reach out and see how I’m doing. It’s funny, my friends who are further away have been more in contact with me than anyone. Of course my amazing family has been there for me. Poor David, he doesn’t seem to have much support other than my family either. But we are blessed to at least have that, as I’m sure there are people out there who have no one.

One of my friends told me she thinks that God only puts the strongest people through some of the hardest things. I think she was trying to tell me that I’m strong, but I don’t understand why God would do that? David has another approach…he thinks God was saving us from a severely disabled child which would have brought more pain in the long run. Perhaps he’s right…I guess we’ll never know. I just wish I found solace in these things. For now, no matter the reason, it’s a heartache that no one should ever have to experience.

Life goes on, one step at a time, one foot in front of the other.

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3 thoughts on “1 Week Post D&C

  1. Stefanie

    A very close friend just told me this week that God only gives me what I can handle. Like you, I assume this friend meant well, that she was trying to tell me I’m strong, but honestly, I don’t feel strong. A huge part of me feels like I’m slowly falling apart, and that God clearly isn’t doing anything to stop it. Like I used to have everything together, but all the sudden, I don’t. And no idea how to get everything back inline, my life, my feelings, etc. My heart goes out to you. I wish your close friends were more in contact with you. My closest don’t seem to be calling or texting me either… This is so very hard.

    Reply
    1. lfast07 Post author

      I wonder why it is when we need our friends the most they aren’t there for us. My husband said I was overreacting, and perhaps I am. But I can’t help feeling let down.
      It’s probably going to take some time for us to pick up the pieces. I recently watched the Robin Roberts Master Class (on OWN) and she spoke about the fact that God answers prayers in three ways: 1. Yes 2. Not yet 3. I have something even better in mind. I was going to write a blog ab how much this sentiment touched me during this time of difficultly. Hopefully God has something even better in mind for you!! XX

      Reply

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