I’ve been going every 2 weeks since my missed miscarriage and D&C, to have bloodwork for my HCG Beta numbers. The doctor was trying to track when I was below 5, which is considered not pregnant.
So every other week, I’m in that dreaded office sitting next to all the beautiful pregnant women. Looking into the same procedure room I had the worst conversation of my life. Seeing the same nurses who saw me at my darkest hour. It’s never easy…but I’m pretty excited to never have to go back to that place. My Beta results from Friday are in, and I’m officially under 5 HCG!
Slightly sad, but happy to be able to move onwards and upwards. It only took 5 weeks for my levels to get back to normal. Now I wait for the dreaded period……
By Sunday, I was able to hold back tears long enough to enjoy the day. Hubs and I woke up and decided to rent bikes for an hour and take a little ride around South Beach. It was lovely. In the back of my mind, I was sad that we weren’t making a big deal for David and his first Fathers day. But, it was no longer his first fathers day….as there was no more life inside my belly for him to father. He seemed content to bike with our doggie daughters.
Fathers day bike ride
Unfortunately, he had work to do the rest of the afternoon…so after our bike ride I met up with mom and dad. It was great, because my parents kept me distracted with a lovely lunch at Mandolin in the Design District. We sipped a lovely white wine, ate lamb meatballs and an awesome feta & watermelon salad. For my main course I had lamb chops (all amazing, and all things I had to previously avoid due to my pregnancy). We left happy, and jumped in the car to explore neighborhoods to buy a house.
The funny thing is, a few days before finding out we lost the baby, we had listed our townhouse with the main reasoning being that it wasn’t really baby friendly. And now that that it’s such a priority now, we aren’t 100% sure we want to sell. Regardless, we went house hunting for me to get excited about getting a fresh start with a cute little house over in Surfside. After a few blocks into the neighborhood, I fell in love. We drove around for over an hour, looking for “for sale” signs and seeing the streets we preferred. Again, it was a great distraction!
We ended the afternoon/ into evening with drinks by the pool at the Mondrian, which was the hotel my parents were staying. We enjoyed a couple bottles of Whispering Angel rose and people watched by the pool.
Drinks at the Mondrian
All-in-all it was an ok day. And it seems that as time goes on, it’s getting easier for me to cope with our loss. There won’t be a day (at least anytime soon) that it doesn’t cross my mind. But I’m starting to realize that there are other options out there for us, and that I refuse to give up our fight for our precious baby.